UK Helpline: 0345 123 2304 | tcf.org.uk Surviving children If we have surviving children, we will want to protect them from any stigma that has been attached to our child or their death. Some young people will receive good support, perhaps from their school, and their peer group may be less judgmental than adults. On the other hand, children can say things without understanding the impact of their words. Our surviving child may become known as “the sibling of the person who did…”. They may need to talk through how best to respond to unkind comments. We might also want to consider how much our surviving children are accessing social media, and the impact this may be having on them. Bullying and trolling (unwelcome comments that are intended to upset or anger) are unfortunately too common. This will be a particular concern if our child’s death has featured in the media. Siblings themselves may also be judgmental. No matter what their age is, other children may be angry with their deceased sibling for the chaos that has been caused within the family or if years of anxiety have overshadowed their lives. They may feel that we have not been honest in the past or that their sibling’s behaviour has caused them problems. We will need to find ways of continuing to talk about their sibling, both their life and their death, in terms that are appropriate to their age and maturity. We will want to reassure our surviving children how much we value and love them, and also share positive memories from when their sibling was still here. For more on support in helping children cope following the death of their sibling, see: TCF leaflets: Our surviving children (under the age of 18) and Our surviving adult children Online safety and other issues: visit reportharmfulcontent.com and search for “Advice for Parents” Child Bereavement UK offers support for all ages of children: childbereavementuk.org Winston’s Wish is another helpful charity: winstonswish.org
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