Compassion, Spring 2021

Spring 2021 - Compassion | www.tcf.org.uk 6 Losing my son, Harri, at the age of 14 to a brain haemorrhage six years ago was so unexpected that I’m still not sure my brain has accepted it. His pure energy, love of life and noise level are irreplaceable. He survived in a coma for two weeks before we were asked if the doctors could turn off his life support. I refused to begin with and one of the nurses asked me what I was waiting for. “A miracle,” I said and she left the room without another word. She didn’t know my Harri, she didn’t know that he was sportsman of the year and that he was determined to be a professional tennis player. She didn’t know that he had the strongest belief in his destiny of any child I’ve ever known, and, as a teacher and tennis coach, I’ve taught many sportsmen and women. Harri couldn’t die, he had too much to live for. But a few days later we were told to turn off his life support. I still believed that he would breathe on his own, but he didn’t. He was my middle child and the glue between my three boys. Daniel and he had shared a room all their lives; they were still in their bunkbeds at 14 and 12 years old. James was 16 and they adored each other. Fast forward five years and we are on holiday in Florida for Christmas. Christmas Day is the worst day of the year for me as it’s supposed be about family and Harri is missing, so we try and go away and do something to create new memories. Harri would have loved Universal Studios. At an arts fair I saw a mosaic that I adored, made from polymer clay tiles. I had done a couple of mosaic courses years ago and had always wanted to get back into it. Two months later and we are in lockdown and suddenly I have plenty of time to learn a new skill. My first mosaic was made for Harri and then I made some for my friends who have also lost children. They encouraged me to advertise my designs. I imprint words and symbols and jewellery into the clay tiles, which can be any colour under the sun, add mica powders, gems and beads to embellish them and then bake them. The tiles are then arranged like a jigsaw into a mosaic as a memory of their lives, their character, their loves, their talents. I’ve found making the mosaics to be a very therapeutic exercise and as no two tiles ever turn out the same, I’ve loved being able to make something personal and unique to remember my friends’ unique children. Some have sayings, some have mirrors and each one has an angel imprinted into one tile which was given to me by the funeral director at Harri’s funeral. I called my website Just Heavenly Designs because I think the mosaics are just that - Heavenly and the initials are the initials of my 3 beautiful boys, JHD. If you are interested in having a unique mosaic made for someone then please contact Carrie at folksy.com/shops/Justheavenlydesigns . Ten per cent of all proceeds will go to The Compassionate Friends. Caroline Varda Mosaics